Confession is good for the soul. . . . . . .sometimes, but not always!

My favorite time of day with my Mom is morning.  Not early, but when Memama wakes on her own.  After many years of being an early riser, Memama no longer is up with the chickens.  I attribute this to her age and to her hearing loss.  I don't have a problem with this, as she has paid her dues.

On a usual morning, I will slip in and check on her, then move to the kitchen to make her coffee and get her meds where she can't miss them.  I will hear some banging around from her walker and know that she is making a bathroom trip, so I give her a few minutes before going to tell her the coffee is ready and make an inquiry as to what she would like for breakfast.  This will range from sausage pancakes on a stick to sausage egg and cheese biscuits, to oat meal, the fried eggs and bacon with biscuits to scrambled eggs or bacon and egg sandwiches, but sometimes she just wants a breakfast bar.

By the time she gets her robe and makes her way to the kitchen table, her breakfast is usually ready and waiting.

It is during these morning sit downs that we have many very open heart to heart talks.

The past few days have been extremely painful for Memama.  She is doing great, especially to just be eighteen days after her fall that caused her compression fracture in her back.  Physical therapy comes three days a week and they work her out and positive results are obvious.

Yesterday Memama was sitting at the table telling me that "her back was really hurting".  I responded that she had only taken a pain pill and it would take a few minutes for it to take affect.

In her next breath she told me, "I don't know why the good LORD keeps me here." 

I told her, "Maybe GOD is punishing you for not trusting that he knows what he is doing?"

She responded, "It's just hard to understand because I am old and hurting and I can't do what I use to do".

I said, "It will all come in GOD's time, I confessed that many mornings when I slip down the hall to the door of her room I have to look closely to be sure she is breathing.  I continued, that I know it will fall on me some day to make my morning check to find her cold and still."

She told me, "I don't wish that for any of you."

There was a long silence as we both pondered what the other had said.

Finally I told her "You are sounding a lot like Pepa".  His phrase was "If this is the way it is going to be, I just wish the good LORD would take me".  I said, "Be careful what you wish for, because obviously at some point GOD was listening to Pepa".

I wouldn't take for this past year with my Mom and for what ever time GOD chooses to give us.

FATHER, thank YOU for special times. special memories.  I continue to lift up Memama for YOUR gifts of healing and care and comfort.