It's been an interesting week. Hard but interesting.

I am bazzausted. Physically, but more so, mentally. I am spent. I am empty. Stick a fork in me, I am done.

My day off was a wild and wooly one! Lots of stops, lots of meeting different specialists. I did get a few things done and reported back to our hydraulic guru by five in the afternoon. He got the go ahead to do some things he wants to do. Hey it's only money! (And I know where there is a copy machine!).

I woke up this morning, needing to talk to Freddy. It wasn't like just wanting to talk to him. I didn't need anything. I just needed to talk with him.

My heart hurts. It seems that Wilson's funeral kind of laid it open again.

TJ has been heavy on my mind too.

In reality I know things will never be the same again. I just want to understand and accept this as how GOD's master plan is intended to unfold. But it is difficult.

At work, I have figured out that DJ and myself are the conscience of the business. Neither of us was there yesterday and it sure showed today. My desk was trashed. French fries, straws, napkins, food containers, barbecue sauce. The customer counter was in very similar condition. With a twenty-two year old and an eighteen year old working together it was a wreck. I find it very frustrating. I know Chris gets tired of me ranting on him, but he deserves it!

Just when I bragged on the store, it had a brain fart. A year ago Chris had two monster items that sold. That meant that last year's yesterday exceeded by far this year's yesterday and we fell back below the $30K figure. Oh well, we'll just kick it's ass again!

At Wilson's funeral I visited with a few people, who were inquiring as to how our family was doing in the wake of June 2007. I found myself teary, subdued, having difficult talking about everything that has gone on. Then I realized, one of these good people lost her husband in early middle age, another lost her oldest child to an accident at the age of six. They have been where we are. We weren't the support that they have been and are.

FATHER, we continue to struggle.