Our Fourth was laid back. We had to do absolutely nothing and we chose to do very little above what we had too! I made one brief excursion. Three stops on errands, then it was back to the house. I was actually running ahead of myself so far that I had to stop everything I was doing and just mark time. It wasn't too bad, it allowed our afternoon/evening meal to marinate a while longer before it went on the grill.

Actually, while we enjoyed having some time that we weren't pressed to accomplish something, it proved to be a difficult day. I would hear something and look at Krl and she would be teared up, and it worked the other way too. At the point we are at, it is not a good thing to have an idle mind as Freddy and Terri move into it. I keep telling myself how selfish we are being, but my heart doesn't seem to care. I know they are happy to be where they are and I am sure they are together with other friends and relatives.

Krl and I did one positive thing yesterday, we made reservations for next weeks family reunion at Lake Brownwood. This has been an ongoing gathering since about 1966 and has seen it expand from only four rooms in the beginning to taking up the entire motel, plus other rooms in other locations plus travel trailers plus about four lake residences. This is my Mom's immediate family.

I got the phone number of the facility and Krl called them and reserved a hookup for one of the smaller company travel trailers. We told them we weren't bringing the big trailer we brought last year and from what they said I think we will get a more desirable hookup location. Last year we were on the back forty and it was a hike to anything we wanted to do. At least if we get the location we requested we will be near the water.

It would be easy NOT to go this year. BUT, Krl and I discussed it and right now we probably need family and family probably needs us. It won't be easy but it may be one of those necessary steps in healing.

Memama nearly spazzed when I told her the dates for the reunion were July 13 (which is a Friday), 14, and 15. I agree, we don't want to tempt fate.

On Monday past "E" came by the NAPA store briefly. He is a good man. He has a very strong faith. I know if roles were reversed I would not be doing anywhere near as well as he is, because in my present position I am not, with Terri or with Freddy! He has four points of acceptance concerning Terri's death. All I can say is wow!

And we are supposed to be supportive to him.

Today is my regular day off. I am supposed to get with some guys today in dealing with some personal business. Two meetings will be in person and two will be phone contacts. All of these have been "on-going" for several months. I am leery of talking with one contact because the first time I talked with him, Freddy died the next day and the last time I talked with him we lost Terri. Some of the dynamics have changed concerning our talks. In fact on one deal I am only gathering information to make recommendations and then I will hook up the two parties and step to the side.

On a deluxe positively selfish note, I am hoping to put a new A/C compressor on the S-10 I drive to work. I have not had air conditioning any at all this year. I am just thankful it hasn't been too terribly hot. I have been carrying a new compressor around for months.

I am probably going to take Krl's SUV to work tomorrow and bring the travel trailer to the house where she can clean it. Of course as our luck would have it, we have no bed sheets that will fit the beds in this trailer. I may try to borrow some from Memama. I have already begun a mental list of items we need to take out of our regular company trailer for our weekend.

Chris called me and told me he will not be at work tomorrow as he is leaving late today to go to Canyon for a wedding he is going to be in this weekend. I am not sure what this will mean as to who opens at seven tomorrow morning or who is working Saturday. I do know that his Mom is meeting Steph at the airport in Lubbock mid-afternoon tomorrow as they are having a girls weekend.

So, lots of stuff going on, lots of plans up in the air.

I guess I had better get to it.

Have a day!

FATHER, we still need some help here. Heal our hearts!