Arghh!! I am frustrated!

It seems as though no matter what I do I just can't get a program put together. What hopefully was a dream job seems to be nickel and dime-ing the company, and although it is a down time of the year, it can't continue on. There is too much trying to pull that booger down. Sometime I can't believe how many costs continue on regardless of activity.

My yesterday was filled with a couple of quick trips checking on loads before barricading myself in the office to generate monthly reports. Accident insurance forms, monthly employee roster, monthly tax deposits, updating employee payroll journal. They are all done, moved to Krl's desk for processing and pay next time T. Lyn is here.

I did make one trip to what seems to be becoming my hangout, Kinkos. Those guys are probably thinking about giving me my own cash register code so I can "self serve" myself! Yesterday was a crazy project involving forty-nine copies, and that was about as compacted as I could make it.

Shortly before I left the office for Kinkos, I received a call from KO. After brief casual talk, he asked me if I would be interested in making a quick run to Lubbock. It seems that the core customer for the last few years had gone to a central dispatch and it is very possible it is not working. Apparently they need soda pop in Lubbock and a lot of it quick! The old local dispatch office called KO's office crying for trucks. I was excited, I only needed to check to be sure my local load wasn't going to make and I was game to go. KO told me as soon as I knew if it was a go to call DO and confirm. It probably took me an hour to make my rounds and talk with the loader at Eileen's before I was confident I could go. I called DO and by then the core customer was crawfishing and backing away, they wanted a couple of trucks, not everything DO could throw their way! Dang! KO told me he would see what he could put together for today. I will be hopeful again.

I am torn between what I need to do and what I want to do. I would like to attend Mike Meler's funeral in Bedford today. That is difficult for me because I usually don't do funerals and the few I do, I don't do well. I also realize Mike would understand that if a guy can work he needs to work. I don't know. I suppose I will take it out of my hands and into a more insightful being's, and if it is supposed to happen it will.

As many of you are aware, during our absence this past year, Trc did a rework on our house. Everything was moved out, new paint on the walls and ceiling did most of the magic. The other major contributor was the removal of ALL the carpet and replacing it with tile. The tile was something I didn't really know if I could get used to. Surprisingly, I have fallen in love with tile floors. Clean, cool, neat in appearance. It is also comical when the two youngest pups "cool" down and lay like tadpoles flat on their bellies.

One thing that has amazed me about the tile floors is how every tile is intrinsically linked. My understanding is that when the tile is laid, the tile layer determines a key room and they will cross reference from corner to corner, determining a center. Don't ask me who decided this is how tile is supposed to be laid. I would have probably started in a corner and ended up with the opposite side having a thin sliver, but then that is probably why I am not a tile layer. Back to the story. In our instance, Trc and her assistant determined the key room to be our family room. They determined the true center and set that tile and everything else spins from it, with the exception of the entry way which because of the step down and the door transom there is loss of continuity briefly. As I walk from room to room I am amazed that ultimately the link goes back to the true center. This will showcase the efforts of carpenters or cabinet builders whether the showcase is good or bad. Any deviation to "square" is readily visible referencing the tile lines. This really intrigues me, how intertwined and dependent each tile is on the one laid before. Of course once the tile is set, the mortar will fill the gaps. This is another bumfuzzling thing. The mortar choices are almost endless. Amazing.

I find myself relating my amazement with our tile floor to life. I keep going back to "my center" and I can see how each square has played off the one laid previously. I relate the mortar to "coloring the picture" we have created. It is indicative of who we have become.

FATHER, help me to always use YOU as my true center. Color my life with YOUR majestic strokes!