My Christmas wish.

We had the longest run we have had all harvest season.  Six days.  We made good progress, but still have a ways to completion.  Best part is, all the wheat is in the ground and was prior to the rain we were blessed with.

It is crazy, because only a farmer can complain about the weather in one breath and be thankful for it in the next.  Rain may be bad for this year's crop but is like money in the bank for next year's.

I have caught myself thinking this past week.  Farming is not a living, it is a way of life.  No two years are alike and it is the challenges presented out of the blue that provide for never a dull moment.  What a blessing to smell the freshly opened earth, to see the small plants emerge with hope and vigor, and to see a crop to completion and harvest.

Yes, It is a wonderful life.  Filled with God miracles everywhere along the way.

I talked with Rian earlier in the week and he told me it is official, he is single.  I joked with him that we would look back on this one day and tell stories about, "Remember when we were single Dad?"
I told him I would have to ask which time.  At the time of my divorce from Rian's mother, Rian was just 9, yet for some reason he always referred to it as "when we were single", like we had a wonderful bachelor pad and all sorts of fun things going on. 

I suppose it is all in the eyes of the beholder.

Now I feel that to a certain degree, my son is reliving my life.

I have known this time of year was going to be much more difficult than Rian had imagined.  First of all he does not like being alone.  Second, his boys are his life.  His job, the house, and all else is secondary.  No doubt about it, he love his boys.

Rian texted me yesterday that he was really battling depression.  So  am I.  Christmas is a tough time of year, especially after suffering loss from death or divorce, or both.

My Christmas wish would be to instill in Rian the hope that everything is going to work out, that he can put the wheels back on his wagon and life will be grand again.  It just doesn't happen over night, and I hope he does not rush it and make additional mistakes.

He and I have talked about the feelings that you go through.  The feeling of wasting twelve years in a relationship that apparently was a lie and a farce for your partner.  But I tell Rian, you change any of that twelve years you run the risk of changing it to where you don't have the boys, because without the relationship there would not be Reid, Holt and Drew.  These three will always be Rian's greatest accomplishment, only matched if he chooses to remarry and have another child.

Rian has always told his boys, "Freeman standards".  Meaning that we hold ourselves to higher standards of behavior, and trying to excel scholastically, athletically and any other way possible.  It is ironic to me that the biggest violator of this mantra is the boys' mother.  Apparently the twelve years of marriage were a cleverly designed scam of lies and deception.  I really believe that the boys' mother has her family's gene and is mentally ill.  At least that would be explainable.

So, my Christmas wish for Rian and his boys is that better times are ahead.  There is a plan and we may not understand it, but someone much greater than us has made it and is working it every day.

As for all of you who visit here, have a Merry Christmas!

FATHER, let us always remember the reason for the season.  And on this day, a KING is born.  Thank YOU for baby JESUS.