Gremlins.

They are chasing me. They have me surrounded, they are dictating where I can go and what I can do.

That is what I feel like. I feel like I am not in control of any aspect of my life. I am not a control freak, but I feel like I am being swept away, and not in a good way.

I left my house early this morning. Twenty to seven. I made my regular stops and still had time to drop in and check on Pepa. When I got to his hospital room he was awake lying in bed while Memama was sitting on her cot, still in her flannel gown. It did seem that Pepa recognized me, which would be an improvement over yesterday.

It was odd however that he seems to respond best to the nurses. He is able to speak directly and be precise. It seems when he talks to me or Memama he has trouble saying what he wants to say.

While I was there the nurse came in to take Pepa's oxygen level in his blood. Memama says they have had a problem getting it up, even though he is on oxygen. This morning however, the nurse was very pleased.

Memama said she thought Pepa was much better today, after decreasing med levels and increasing intervals between them.

Probably the most disconcerting thing for me this morning was Pepa's hair. You never see him with his hair disheveled. Today it is a mess. I figured out why when I watched him hold his hand on the top of his head. I guess one reason this bothered me is that often you see residents of nursing homes who no longer practice hygiene, including combing their hair.

They have scheduled him for a cat scan on his abdomen this afternoon. So, probably another day in the horsepital.

O.K., I am feeling better. I guess taking the time to write this has given me opportunity to decompress.

Have a day.

FATHER, I could use a lot of help.