Are you in touch with your mortality?

I seem to deal with death very differently. I have stated before that I don't think I have ever gotten over my maternal grand dad dying at the age of 61. I was 16. We were buds. I didn't think anything could hurt as much as it did to lose him. We had plans. Luckily, I spent the entire day with him the day prior to his death. I don't know if I could have survived if I hadn't.

I will say that there have been a number of deaths that have rivaled his. Primarily Freddy's and Tj's. I have always heard how difficult it is to lose a sibling, thankfully I have no idea what it is like to lose a child. I have lived losing a sibling twice and would concur. I suppose this is getting awful close to home and having to realize how temporary and fleeting our time here is. I find it more difficult when we lose people of my generation. A brother, a sister, a cousin, a cousin's spouse, quickly come to the fore front of my mind.

My day yesterday started with a text message telling me a high school classmate's mother had died. that seemed to set the tone for my whole day as more evidence came in supporting the message despite my wanting to discount and hope for an inaccuracy.

Part of my day was spent in the office, then I went to Kinko's and the Post Office. Finally, I went to the grocery store. As I would make decisions about what and what not to buy, I caught myself thinking, this would not be a concern to Fred or Terri or Rene, or Mike ..... . . . . . and the list could go on.

Now before someone wants to lock me up in a rubber room, I am not suicidal. It is just a realization that when you finish your time here it must be a relief. No more stress. No more money. No more aches or pain. The rat race is over.

I often hear my Dad say, "If this is the way it is going to be, I just wish he would take me now". I don't doubt that he hurts. I don't doubt he feels he is living with diminished skills and capacities.

Luckily, he is not in charge. Someone much bigger and much wiser is.

Yesterday I reported a family friend had died. This proved to be true. Mary Lois Boston Williams age 78 of Roscoe died yesterday in Abilene. I am not privy to exact facts but my sources tell me it was a massive heart attack. She and her husband Herbert have been long time friends of my Mom and Dad. The men have served on various boards together and partnered on ventures in the past. The women have been friends and served as room-mothers and hostesses to various events. Their family and our family are mirrored. Larry is a year older than Fred was, Nancy and I were classmates, Judy was a year older than Pat, Randy was a year or two ahead of Coach and Wes (or Waldo as he was called in his early years) and Terri were the end gates. You can't live in a community of 1500 without having a lot of interaction.

Mary Lois taught piano many years ago. It wouldn't surprise me to learn she had taught her grandchildren. Pat took from Mary Lois, I took from Ms. Miles. I think nearly all of us offspring played in the band. Larry played a trombone, as did I. He served as President of the band. Nancy was a trumpet player as was Freddy and Nancy served a drum major. Judy played a flute (I think) and Pat played a clarinet. I can't really remember if Randy was in the band, but I know Coach played the drums. Wes and Terri were too far removed in age for me to know if Wes was in band or not.

Mary Lois played the piano and organ at First Baptist Church. I know the last time I attended services there she still did. However, Mary is probably best known for sending all of the youth of Roscoe into the world as she played the processional and recessional marches for Roscoe High School graduation.

In recent years, it seems that I ran into Mary at the Post Office in Roscoe. Sometimes I would be getting into my vehicle when she would drive up or emerge from inside. More often than not I would get back out and visit with her for a brief while, checking up on Herbert or whatever the hot topic of the day might be. I am glad I did.

My grand dad use to tell me, "Deaths come in threes". For the most part, as long as I can remember, he has been right. We wait with hopes that death skips our doorstep, although we know it could be any day.

Boy, does GOD have a big job.

Have a day.

FATHER I am sad. For my friends as they have lost their mate, mother, and grand mother. I lift them up for YOUR gifts of comfort and care. Bless them. Thank YOU for Mary Lois and the impact she has had.