Whew.

I feel mentally exhausted.

I feel I am being tested. Having just completed the forty days of personal distress, it seems I am launching immediately into a period of business distress.

I find myself in a situation with the seasonal work that I don't like and I am not comfortable with. I had received a contract from the GM that is not even vaguely close to the proposal I submitted. Don't get me wrong, the numbers are right, but all the conditions seem to have been altered. When I read it, I felt there was no way I could sign it, and I felt sure that the company's attorney would not let me.

I am having a difficult time because this has been the lifeline for 15 years. The problem has not been with the work, because we have developed good relations with our employees. There has been a change of pertinents. Board members, office personnel, and general manager.

The old GM and I could sit down and talk, work things out, shake hands and know that each one of us would live up to our word. I don't have this comfort level with the new GM. In fact, I don't know I could trust him as far as I could throw him. So far he has not been a man of his word and he appears to lack backbone.

I am leaning toward walking away from the seasonal work. Krl is encouraging me too. But this leaves a huge void, and I wonder what is going to fill this vast emptiness.

It is a leap of faith, and I am having a hard time turning loose of the handrail.

Today is probably going to be the day my decision is made.

I was shocked last evening when I read of Michael Jackson's death. Today I think, "What a waste". Needless to say, he was extremely talented. He had become extremely extravagant, living a lavish life style that some say he couldn't afford. One report said he spent 20 to 50 million dollars more each year than what he took in, for the last ten years. I have seen many segments this morning from friends, talking of Michaels insecurities, and the pressure he felt. It is a shame. I can remember when the Jacksons hit the big time.

Oh, for the good ol' days.

FATHER, thank you for being faithful to meet my needs. I ask that you give me peace with my decision concerning the seasonal work. Help me to be thorough in my process. Bless me oh LORD!