I am so fighting with myself.

I just can't seem to get in the mood for the seasonal work. Let me build on that, I can't even get in the correct frame of mind!

And that is bothering me.

This will be fourteen years I have gone on this pilgrimage. The first ten of which I went without Krl. I have missed ball games, marching contests, cheer leading, Thanksgivings, and yes, even Christmases.

We have had Christmas in February and we have had Christmas in June.

The '05-'06 seasonal work was a record year for production. It was also a record year for time spent on the jobsite. Six months and two days. During that time span we did NOT come home at all.

They tell me there is a good chance this year will surpass all previous years. In fact the girls in the office have told Krl when we come to bring our Easter clothes. Easter '08 is in April for those who are wondering. One patron I visited with Thursday told me we would not be through until May!

It is not a problem with the people. We are lucky enough to work with some of the best in the business. Many of my drivers and machine operator's have been with me for many, many years. Very few of the plant employees have been there longer than me.

It is not the work, it is not the people. I think it is the time away.

I would also say that other variables come into play. Primarily Chris and the parts store. I guess I don't feel finished with them. I guess they are a lot like Kyle Patrick Henry last year at the jobsite! Works in progress.

I would also have to say I am leery of the work without Fred. We always had a deal, he was support on his end, I was support on mine, regardless of who's equipment it was. I am confident of Jason and Jake if they are who I work with. They have an understanding of the work. If I work with Mr. Harris, that won't be new. My biggest question mark is IF I work with Daryl. This is the tool pusher who Fred had hired just prior to his death. He has had some positive results within his scope, but where he is going to have to go with me and the seasonal work is uncharted territory for him. I don't see it as a capability issue, I see it as a possible control issue. Lack of knowledge is a dangerous thing.

My theory has always been to hire someone who is capable, explain what is expected of them and then turn them loose and let them do it. (This is a lot like Billie Sol's recipe for success. Surround yourself with good people!). If you are not seeing me or talking with me, it doesn't mean I'm mad, it means you are doing well. If I am seeing you regularly or seem to be giving you pep talks frequently you might want to step it up.

My other ingredient for this recipe is don't do stupid. Enough stuff can and will go wrong, so don't tempt fate.

I need to go to the jobsite with one of the crew's travel trailers tomorrow. And the next day, and the next day. Of course before I can do that I need to get that elusive inspection sticker on my truck, then a trip permit for the travel trailer. Give me seven hours and I should be back on this end planning for tomorrow.

I have always found the most difficult part of any trip is getting in, slamming the door shut, and getting underway. If I can get the trip underway, it usually flows.

So pray for me. For my week. For the seasonal work.

Hope you're not having as much problem as I am looking forward.

I wonder if I slept in my truck if the hard part would be over?

Have a day!

FATHER, I am struggling mightily. I find myself filled with apprehension and dread. Take these from me. Fill me with hope and certainty. Help me to know that all this is trivial, a small diversion in the bigger scheme of YOUR plan. I pray for safety, for the day, for the week, and for the seasonal work. Reign in me.