Wet weather! After the extreme hot and humid conditions I was ready for a reprieve.

Talk about weird though, I talked with E late yesterday and he was telling me they got less than a half inch of rain in the Corpus Christi area.

Of course all that could change, Hurricane Dean seems to be bearing down on the Gulf. Cat 4 and growing!

E had called me with some trucking problems. They have just begun ginning and his trucker who had been on board threw a shoe. E asked me to look at his rates to be sure that the trucker wasn't "under" compensated. Everything I have seen points to better rates than any in our area. Right now I am looking to see if I can find some truckers who might want to go down there.

The biggest thing E is concerned about is that his trucker didn't come to him. He went around him and to the mill. Bad mistake!

We are supposed to talk again this morning.

I boiled out my incision yesterday. I was shocked to see what the surgeon had left me with. Throughout all the conversations they had kept telling me this doctor was a minimalistic surgeon. As usual, I am the exception to the rule! I guess I should take solace in the fact that he got all the cancer.

My biggest problem continues to be my eye although my nasal passages are very raw and sensitive.

I have been thinking about everything that has transpired this year. I have been finding myself really struggling, wondering why so much has happened. I am finding it difficult to not be upset with GOD. Of course it began with Pepa's diagnoses, followed by his treatment. Krl's broken leg. Losing Fred, followed by losing TJ. Then my minor diagnosis followed by the hack job and most recently the decision to do some biopsies on Hag.

I suppose in fairness I should also make note of Pepa's successful treatment. Krl has her cast off (after five months and three days) although she does still hobble around with a cane. It is much more difficult to justify any good concerning losing Fred and Terri. My heart still hurts. I know that their families have to feel they are looking at an insurmountable adjustment. Pat and I talk often about our struggling with their deaths. I do however find myself thinking about what Fred would say or do in a particular situation.

I have been working on a tremendous opportunity that has presented itself. It could involve and include the majority of the family as it would be a major undertaking. Much too large for any one of us to tackle alone. I keep hearing Fred tell me not to let any of it get away. Hopefully Monday or Tuesday will see more of these pieces fall in place.

With Terri's family I know they have to feel lost. I liken this to going through a divorce. Biggest difference is E had no choice and there is no hope of reconciliation. What E is going to have to realize is that he has been presented with a very unique opportunity. What he builds with his children, especially Wes and Riley, can be something very very special. I haven't said it will be easy because it won't. But as long as he is making the effort and making the best decisions he can, he is going to be successful. He can't second guess himself. He is faced with a big, big job being both Mom and Dad. A big plus is that E is going to learn things about himself that he never knew, and he is going to learn to do things he would never fathom. Of course the remarkable thing about these revelations is that Terri knew them all along, that's why she married him.

FATHER, thank YOU for understanding my struggles, my hurt, my pain. Bless our family as we continue to deal with everything.