Sometimes life just disappoints you.

I guess Krl and I sold ourselves on expectations instead of reality. Krl went to the doctor and had her cast removed Wednesday. I went to my surgeon early Thursday and had all my staples removed (I had been mistaken, I thought I had twenty-six or seven staples total. Turned out, that was just in my back and shoulder. It didn't include my other shoulder!). I guess we thought Krl was going to instantly be transformed to her old self and old mobility. I thought I was going to be rid of any discomfort.

As it turns out, Krl is finding that there was a great deal of comfort and stability in her big purple cast. I am finding out that the staples, while uncomfortable, were able to give me a warning prior to over extending or over exerting myself.

It is going to be a long road back.

Thursday Krl and I made the trek westward to the seasonal job site. We left early enough to get to town before the bank closed, conducted a little business, went by the Post Office, and made a broad circle to the job site. The office was almost empty as everyone was trying to set up and decorate for the annual stock holders meeting which was to be followed by the Community Family Fun Day and Barbecue. Krl and I didn't go to the stock holder's meeting and that gave us opportunity to continue our road tour. We arrived back at the hall just in time as they were rolling out the refreshment beverages. It took only minutes after that for the meeting to adjourn, and the socializing began.

It was good to see all of our friends and co-workers. As always, there was a lot of catching up on the happenings of the community. Thing is, we barely covered anything. To be such a small community there is always a lot happening.

I was very touched by the many condolences and kind words that were offered regarding Freddy's untimely death. These are good people and Krl and I are fortunate to have made such good friends.

On our way westward we took the time to go by to visit Freddy's grave site. I had not been back since late on the day of his funeral. Try as I might to believe it is not real, when you read his grave marker it becomes very, very, real. I am trying to decide if I am dealing with this the right way because it continues to be very difficult. I'm not able to be much comfort or support to anyone else.

One of the things that continues to amaze me is that on the heels of tragedy, our family continues to be blessed by it. I guess it shouldn't come as a surprise that even in death Fred continues to move and shape our family. I suppose we should take comfort in this. Maybe I'm just selfish and bull headed. While I could not have scripted a better last conversation than what Freddy and I had, I find myself wishing for one more opportunity to talk with him. Thing is I have so much to ask him I don't know exactly what we would talk about. I guess that is why GOD's plan doesn't come with a visible timer.

But, who are we to question GOD. I keep trying to remind myself that we continue to see a small portion of the giant masterpiece GOD is unfolding.

Fred's family traveled to Lubbock Thursday for the first of what will probably be many such treks as they begin to unfold the intricate details of everything Fred had going on. Pat was able to accompany them. She and I have discussed how delicate and fine the line is concerning being supportive and yet not being intrusive. As much as we love Fred as our brother, we don't want to intrude on his family that has lost a husband, father, and grandfather.

Last evening Pepa's family's reunion began here in Abilene. I guess I am supposed to conduct the family auction. I find myself "not in the mood" for being jovial and fun loving and I could probably see myself on the outer fringes of this weekends activity. But then I ask myself the old question WWFD or WWFWUTD. So I will attend, and I will do what ever is asked or expected of me.

I think as much as I look forward to seeing relatives, I am more aware of the voids that exist, especially among our generation, and it bothers me. It is difficult to realize your own mortality.

I keep looking at the clock and asking myself what I am doing up on a Saturday morning. Especially after the late Thursday we had. I found the little houndgirls needed my space in bed more than I did. When I exited the bedroom, the big hounds were sacked out on their pallets while the little ones were cuddled on the bed, Krl seemed to be sleeping very soundly, serenading them with her rhythmic breathing.

Well, let's have a weekend. Hope yours is a good one!

FATHER, our hearts continue to hurt. I pray for healing and comfort. I ask for strength and resolve. Bless-ed be YOUR name.