Rats! I was so enjoying my sleep time when my inner self deemed my rest complete.

Actually I think I had some sort of episode. Possibly some early stage of sleep aeptnea (?). Dry mouth, breathing rather rapidly. That must of been some dream! Based on my life it would have to be a nightmare! It doesn't help that I seem to be developing arthritis in both shoulders making that perfect comfort position very evasive.

Ain't it grand to get old?

Monday I had made the trek to Sweetwater so I went on to Roscoe to spend a little time with my parents. Turns our they were in Abilene for doctor appointments. Darn the luck! Anyway, I ended up visiting briefly with my older brother and had a fair length visit with my sister. I was discussing a little business with her and getting caught up on other happenings. Early Tuesday morning I received a call from my brother-in-law which was a continuation of the the business discussion Monday and even more catching up on current events.

It is unbelievable how insulated I am by being only fifty miles away. While I will talk with my folks a few times a week, I guess my phones have a filter which limit what information they feel is relevant. Even my sister sometimes seems to protect me by putting the best possible spin on things. Now my brother-in-law is a no nonsense kind of guy. What you see is what you get and you don't have to wonder if he is being on the level because he's a lot like me, it's going to come out. And I guess that is why I love all of them, for trying to insulate and protect. Some by information restriction, some by putting the best face on it, and others giving me the straight facts.

There is a lot of baggage still being toted from the defunct family business. It continues to try to poison and pollute what are already strained ties. To date the defunct business has forced three of five of the involved families into bankruptcy. Three of the five face tax issues. There have been tears, there has been finger pointing, seeds of gossip have been planted and everytime you think the family unit might survive this, someone throws another rock in the pond and the ripples start all over again.

At one point in time I had served as CFO. That's what they tell me. Basically I headed the paper side of the business. Billing, receivables, collection, payroll, safety, compliance, drug testing, receivables funding. It all lived on my end of the office. (What no one knew was that the only paper I wanted to manage was the toilet paper). Out of necessity, I was thrust into this role. Realize that this business went from a half million dollars in annual sales to twenty million dollars in annual sales in a five year period. Basically this meant that very quickly my Mom was covered up with paperwork and for a period of time we were chasing this albatross! I've said it before and I will say it again, "to much growth is just as bad as no growth"! We were along for the ride trying to reel this thing in. All of us were thrust into roles which played to our strengths. Pepa sat in an oversight role, Memama remained active until the computers distanced her from a lot of what she had done for years. My brother has an uncanny ability to grow business. My strength was organization. My brother-in-law took the lead in everyone's farming operations. When we moved into our new offices in early 1997 there were four of us and we thought "How will we ever use this space?". At it's peak, we had built on to that office twice, staffed it with thirty-four employees, had seven satellite offices and three remote yards not counting the two shops and yards located near the office.

Communication became an issue. I can't grow a business like my brother, but he doesn't understand what has to accompany that growth. The final straw was the company's involvement with a large international company that proved to be less than honorable. Contrary to what my Momma taught me, some people are just no good! While this mammoth company promised to "Make the business whole", they were lying through their teeth.

It was very difficult personally to learn of the stories circling through the small gossip community because most of the stories pointed at me. I finally decided that sticks and stones can't hurt me and these people weren't worth losing sleep over.

I was sad to learn that modified stories continue to circulate. Basically the story remains the same only the targets have changed. All the stories seem to allege personal greed and ineptness. What is alarming is that some of these stories seem to possibly be spooled by family members not in the inside circle and certainly not informed enough to be credible. If this is the case I will be extremely disappointed. I understand the natural reaction to protect your spouse, your child, or your parent, but this protection should be based on fact not fiction and honesty should be the policy.

Just about a year ago I was gathering information for my attorney and went into a local office in my home town. This office has a coffee pot and is a regular gathering point for locals. It had been "years" since I had been in there. Some of the patrons were like old times, some seemed cold and stand offish. I didn't realize at that time the lines drawn in the sand and all the different allegiances. One particular person who I had always been friendly with and went to church with (where he serves as a deacon) was extremely cool and brief. Recent revelations have explained his behavior although it is not acceptable to me.

I don't know if the family will survive this mess. I know as long as the locals stir the pot it won't ever settle down. If I had my way I would pull out all the waggin' tongues and cut off all the pointing fingers.

If you want to blame someone, blame me. Because I don't live there and I don't care! Nanna nanna pooh pooh! Some people need to get a life!

And I am thrilled I no longer reside in Peyton Place!

Sorry. I don't know where this blog came from. It wasn't my intention when I booted up.

FATHER, surround us with YOUR goodness!