June 6, 2011

Dear Freddy,

Four years into your eternity. It is hard to believe you have been gone four years.

You would think it would become easier, but that isn’t the case. I don’t know if it is that our feelings are still open and tender from losing Pepa and that magnifies your loss as we recognize the anniversary of your death. Ironically, I can probably relate better to your kids now, since losing Pepa.

Our precious Mother has done remarkably well, although not as well as she would like everyone to believe. Most days I have lunch with her and often I begin my day with an early visit. I can usually tell when she is having a “blue” day. Pat does a good job of going with and taking her. Earlier this year the duo kept the road hot checking on Betsy throughout her ordeal. She has good days and bad. She still loves to cook. I had a health care professional tell me the best thing in the world is for me to eat lunch with her. It gives her purpose and also ensures she will eat a full meal on a daily basis. Don’t ya’ll get any ideas; we aren’t anywhere near ready for her to join you.

I hope Pepa is behaving. He did not have much quality of life the last year or so of his life. He was a real handful for Memama to take care of. Be sure that he keeps that crooked finger in his pocket. I am sure as grand as heaven might be that Pepa feels like he is roughing it without Memama there to take care of and spoil him. As much as I questioned his thought process the last year, it would be a blessing to have a little general direction from time to time from him pertaining to his business.

Robs has been very good coming and spending time (as much as a week) with Mom. Wade and Judy will stop for the night sometimes when enroute to Midland.

Last Robs visit, Memama, Robs, and Pat did a tour of the Trent and Merkel cemeteries, went by the old McLeod home place and then Byrom homestead. Pat said it was so funny to watch Robs and Memama get so excited as they walked around holding hands and reminiscing. Pat’s highlight of the day was Memama climbing fences to get where she wanted to go!

Your family is doing well. Linda and Joni have moved back to Sweetwater. Joni took a job with the state and works at the courthouse. Linda continues her same job, but in a new facility. Jeri is still in the metroplex and seems to be doing well. I think she may have found her soul mate. They seem good together. Jason and his family are good. He has been back in Florida. They have been taking out some citrus groves and replacing them with castor beans and cotton. Later in the year they are to do a test in Canada. The boys are getting big. Devon will be a senior and is getting really big. Dillon is turning into a very good athlete. I don’t know how Bub can afford to feed them! Ha! Dakota is growing up, enjoying daycare. Once in a while the boys will bring her to Memama’s to visit and Mom says those are the best ones because ‘Kota isn’t distracted with her Mom or Dad! Jake and his family are good. The twins are growing and so cute! I grin every time thinking about Gonnie and Uncle J and the recessive red hair gene! Jalin seems to be the go-getter while Brody is more laid back. She may be the football player and he may be the twirler! (Just kidding!). Both of your boys are very good Dads and crazy about the kids.

I talk to Jeanetta at least once a month. She and her family seem to be good. She had called me recently after receiving a disbursement from Pepa’s estate. She was very emotional, saying it was unexpected and a total surprise. She said it was also unnecessary as all she wanted was to know her Dad and be validated by him.

Pat and Hag are good. Chris is still living on Main Street and doing the NAPA thing. Kyle is still living at home, working at Walmart and going to WTC and learning welding. KP has a girlfriend name Ariel, and that has been a hoot. Steph, JR and Chloe are still in the Huntsville area. They have just announced that Chloe will become a big sister in January.

Coach is still a Buckaroo. The boys are still selling prosthetic joints and Kelsi just went to work at Ratliff Steel. Pat showed me some pictures the other day of Colby’s girls. They are gorgeous. Jani is still doing the insurance thing.

I talk to Edwin about once every four to six weeks. I don’t know, but it seems as if he is distancing himself from our family. His and Terri’s kiddos are getting on with their lives. Shelb is still in the Hereford Dalhart area doing the custom applicator deal. He has a girlfriend that we all really like. Robyn is in Austin, going to school and working. Her boy friend just graduated from TT with a degree in engineering and hopes to relocate to the Austin area. Wee is working at Halliburton in the Edna area. They say so far they haven’t found a piece of equipment he can’t run. He is engaged to a precious girl, but the wedding bells are probably at least a year off as she is going to school. Riley is getting big. Working on the farm, and is very good to keep tabs on his Memama.

My family is O.K. Krl is having lots of health issues. In fact just this past week we went in for a disability assessment for her. Her osteoporosis is getting out of hand. Rian and his family recently moved to Shallowater. They waited for their house to vacate almost a year. I went up and helped him tile the master bath, as they were painting and readying the house for the move. Kali is in Angelo. I saw her for the first time in about three years at Pepa’s funeral. Ollie got out of state jail in January. I am hopeful she has a better understanding of choices and rewards and repercussions. She and her long time boy friend have recently split, which may be a good thing. She has recently gone back to school at Angelo State. Trc and her family seem to have estranged themselves, chasing more lucrative and promising targets.

I find that I am not enjoying the tremendous responsibilities that I have inherited. I am not comfortable making decisions that affect Memama’s well-being. It would be much easier if we had a better year going on the farm. I can’t remember it being so dry, so windy or so hot! It is horrible. If you could put in a word for relief from the heat and wind and a rain blessing would be a tremendous blessing. (Although many farmers are hoping it won’t rain until the crops are disastered).

I know we have some hard decisions to make come December as to Memama’s farming operations, whether to keep operating or to try to liquidate the equipment and rent out the farm land. The trucks will need a similar revue.

I can only hope that when the time comes GOD will reveal a very clear and definite direction to go.

We have delayed planting in hopes of a rain blessing, but tomorrow morning we are scheduled to begin. Bub just got in and we have talked about extended hours of operation, trying to maximize the acres of the one planter. If things go well we could be planted in six days.

Since losing Pepa, I have found a great deal of comfort in the song Find us Faithful. Two segments in particular:

“And those who’ve gone before us line the way. Cheering on the faithful, encouraging the weary.”

The second being, “Surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses”.

I can visualize you and Terri lining the way, and Pepa taking his place with you. Memaw, Gon Gon, Grandpa, Gonnie, Uncle J, Uncle Jessie, Aunt Joe, Mary Lois Williams, and Jack Meares, just to mention a few from my visualization.

Crazy huh? But it helps me through it, knowing we are not alone and confident our guardian angels are on duty.

You can’t imagine, but I still reach for the phone to call you. This goes for Pepa and Tj as well. What I would give for another conversation with each of you.

Know that I love you and miss you tremendously!

Love,
Your brother Don