I am really struggling on every front. Mental, physical, spiritual, professionally, financially, personally.

It seems it all is loading up on me at once.

The physical is easiest to explain. I'm not as young as I once was. I pushed over the limit just a bit. Too hot, too tired, and my back seems to be out of joint. It may necessitate a trip to see Doc Summers for an adjustment.

Professionally, I have a real problem with people who don't follow through. For two years, the South Texas work has almost been non-existent. Drought. Last year I received a call asking if we were going to come down and do the work for an extremely short season. We told them we would do what ever we needed to do to protect our job. We sent two trucks for three days. Job over. We had been assured that this would be taken into consideration regarding future work. Recently, the GM there has no recollection. Zip. Zilch. While K.O. and I both were under the impression we were under verbal agreement for 2010, the GM said we needed to re-bid the work. I am at wits end with this man, and he obviously isn't to on top of things because by having us re-bid the haul, the price went up. Hum? I wonder if we are the only ones who abide by agreements? Anyhow, the GM wanted bids by June 18, 2010 with the awarding to take place by June 25, 2010. As of yesterday, the awarding had not taken place. I am sorry, but I have no faith in this man and I am very uncomfortable with the delay possibly affecting the integrity of the process. The GM had previously worked for a governmental agency and he has treaded water poorly for three years. I am beginning to wonder if we want to work for this man. It is understandable that some of the managers within his organization are ready to bolt.

For some strange reason, I seem to be responsible for incoming finances. Don't consult on expenditures, just income generated. Hello?

On the farm, I hate being responsible. For what ever reasons, on one of Pepa's farms the cotton leaves some to be desired. I have tried to talk with him, I have talked with Bub, yet it appears I will be the one who makes the decision. Once again, I will be responsible for any downturn, but not for anything positive.

The story of my life.

I would love to "defer" to someone else. On anything. More and more, I am beginning to assess what I put into something and what I get out of it. On many fronts I am ready to bolt, or at least revolt!

And, all the above gets piled on the spiritual. Wow.

FATHER, I am sorry to load this all on you. YOU are good. Rescue me.