I am really struggling on every front. Mental, physical, spiritual, professionally, financially, personally.

It seems it all is loading up on me at once.

The physical is easiest to explain. I'm not as young as I once was. I pushed over the limit just a bit. Too hot, too tired, and my back seems to be out of joint. It may necessitate a trip to see Doc Summers for an adjustment.

Professionally, I have a real problem with people who don't follow through. For two years, the South Texas work has almost been non-existent. Drought. Last year I received a call asking if we were going to come down and do the work for an extremely short season. We told them we would do what ever we needed to do to protect our job. We sent two trucks for three days. Job over. We had been assured that this would be taken into consideration regarding future work. Recently, the GM there has no recollection. Zip. Zilch. While K.O. and I both were under the impression we were under verbal agreement for 2010, the GM said we needed to re-bid the work. I am at wits end with this man, and he obviously isn't to on top of things because by having us re-bid the haul, the price went up. Hum? I wonder if we are the only ones who abide by agreements? Anyhow, the GM wanted bids by June 18, 2010 with the awarding to take place by June 25, 2010. As of yesterday, the awarding had not taken place. I am sorry, but I have no faith in this man and I am very uncomfortable with the delay possibly affecting the integrity of the process. The GM had previously worked for a governmental agency and he has treaded water poorly for three years. I am beginning to wonder if we want to work for this man. It is understandable that some of the managers within his organization are ready to bolt.

For some strange reason, I seem to be responsible for incoming finances. Don't consult on expenditures, just income generated. Hello?

On the farm, I hate being responsible. For what ever reasons, on one of Pepa's farms the cotton leaves some to be desired. I have tried to talk with him, I have talked with Bub, yet it appears I will be the one who makes the decision. Once again, I will be responsible for any downturn, but not for anything positive.

The story of my life.

I would love to "defer" to someone else. On anything. More and more, I am beginning to assess what I put into something and what I get out of it. On many fronts I am ready to bolt, or at least revolt!

And, all the above gets piled on the spiritual. Wow.

FATHER, I am sorry to load this all on you. YOU are good. Rescue me.

Ouch! I am so sore.

I went Saturday and did a little preliminary work, but yesterday I went to do the real work. I was doing tire dismounts and mounts for three big trucks.

Today my back is so sore I can hardly move.

Much to my chagrin, Krl and Trc hired a new truck driver. He is coming today. To be honest I have really enjoyed not getting calls in the middle of the night, or calls with problems. But, Krl says we need more $$$$$$ to stay afloat.

The new driver seems to be nice enough. I will spend the day with him today. We'll see how it goes.

Krl and I did go to watch Kat play softball Saturday afternoon. It was hot enough. Kat's team lost 4-1 to a team that has been their nemesis for two years now. Their opponent is made up of a lot of tomboys who can really play. There is none of that powder puff throwing, or not wanting to get in the dirt. I will admit that at least one of the other teams eleven year olds looks more like 17. I don't know if I have ever seen an eleven year old with curves like that. Scary.

Oh well, it is supposed to be a game.

I had better get ready for my day.

You have one too!

FATHER, I pray for relief for my body. I pray for this new driver. I pray for safe productive work. To YOU be the glory!

Dear Terri,

It seems like there is no way you can have been gone three years, yet in other ways it seems much longer since we last saw you. You have no idea how often that early morning phone call reverberates in my brain.

Probably your biggest news is that you are the mother of a college graduate. Yep, even with the handicap you weighted him with, Shelby graduated. I haven't talked with him lately, but he was living in Hereford working for a chemical application company and also splitting time at their Dalhart location. He is growing up.

Robyn is living in Roundrock with Wade and Judy. Going to school and working. She probably struggles more than any of your kids, but then she is you made over. (Maybe even blonder). Like her mother, she thinks every one is just a little bit dumber than they really are. She is an impulse buy waiting for an opportunity. Always busy, going and doing. More than likely, somewhere different than where you think she is. A while back Pat and I were laughing, and I told her that the only time we have known where you were at is the last three years. (Of course after saying this, maybe we need to have your coffin exhumed just to be sure you weren't spoofing us). Robyn has a boyfriend I haven't met, but I have heard lots of good things about him.

Wee Wesley quit the city of Edna and went to work for Haliburton. Rian, Jason (and his family), and I saw Wee, Riley, and Edwin when we went to the tractor pull at Nordheim. I really like Wee's girlfriend and I wouldn't be surprised if this blossoms into something more. I had to kid Wee that his first job with Haliburton they would give him a pair of fins and a bucket of cement and tell him to stop the BP oil leak in the Gulf! He so enjoyed the truck and tractor pull.

Riley is growing up. I wouldn't be honest if I didn't tell you I see a twinkle in his eyes that reminds me of his Momma. You would not believe how big he is getting. He is huge! Not fat. Big! I am not sure if he is coming to Roscoe after the Brownwood reunion this year.

E and I talk almost weekly. He is so unhappy work-wise. After Jim left the coop and went to Valco, E was hopeful this new man would learn the job. Apparently that has not been the case. E told me just this week that he is actively seeking other employment. Kevin is hopeful of some contracts for hauling down there, but E told me that if something else comes along, he is gone. Even this close to the ginning season. I think that the relationship between the kids step Mom and them is less volatile now. While you weren't a conventional Mom, any criticism from her about your children's rearing is taken as an attack on you personally. I think that both sides are becoming wiser.

Your Mother and Dad are wearing Pat and I out. We discuss role reversals all the time. I got Mom a doctors appointment earlier in the week (Pat was gone) and it hurt Dad's feelings. "When is my appointment?" he asked. I asked him what was wrong with him because I didn't make him an appointment. "My legs", he replied. I told him that was an every day occurrence. I was only dealing with new ailments. It didn't really matter, Mom didn't make her appointment, even after I was by there getting her ready to go. Fell asleep in her chair. I was furious. She had been in her medications. She is going to mess with me until I make it straight placebos.

I got traded from the parts store to Dad's farm. He needed some help (actually he wanted someone to do it for him) getting his crop in. I worked three weeks straight and today is the first day I have had off since I began. No tractor in my day forecast today. I am hopeful for their crops. That baby cotton sure is coming on and it sure is pretty.

Krl suffered a fall in April and broke her hip. During her treatment they discovered a heart problem. She goes in Monday to turn her thirty day monitor in. Prognosis is probably going to be a pacemaker. Best part is she has gained nineteen pounds during her convalescing. It has been a long time since she tipped the scales at the century mark.

I am sure Fred has probably bragged, but Jake and Lindsay had twins. A boy and a girl, both appear going to be redheaded! Humor him and act like I didn't tell you. Ha!

I will rely on him to catch you up on the rest of the crew.

Know that you are loved and that we miss you terribly.

Love,
Your Brother, Don

For the first time in three weeks, I don't have a tractor waiting on me tomorrow. Yeehaw! I started off behind, but now I am just about caught up. I think I have run a total of 2,810 acres (according to the guidance computers)

Today was not a good day. Just prior to lunch, the air conditioner went out on the tractor I was driving. It was a miserable, hot afternoon. The compressor clutch is coming apart. Luckily this was a new compressor not too long ago. I'm thinking there should be a complete replacement.

Tomorrow marks our 40 days end, from Freddy's birthday. To his death, to Terri Jo's birthday and tomorrow the anniversary of her death. Three years into eternity. RIP Sister.

I sure did hate to hear the alarm clock this morning. I drove directly to the farm that baby cotton is coming up on. This would be the farm I had run the sand fighter on yesterday, streaking, or striping the field. I wanted to be sure the sand was holding before I got busy doing something else.

I returned to Pepa's field that was in planting progress when the rain came. I lack 100 acres there. But, it was way too wet. Jason and I did a little maintenance on the tractor and planter, then he began hauling wheat and I returned to fill in the stripes or streaks with the sand fighter.

I had really forgotten how much I liked to be proactive on the farm. I would rather be safe than be sorry. For those of you who aren't aware, blowing sand can cut and kill young tender crops. It is bad enough if you lose some of your crop but much worse if you blow out a neighbors.

The tractor I have driven the past two days is an older tractor that my Dad adores. I don't share his passion for this tractor. It is fifteen years old and last year he had the engine replaced, and the transmission rear-end gone through. Total bill. $50,000. It didn't matter to him that this is an old tractor. I would much rather have seen him put the money toward a newer model.

Worse thing for me, is this tractor's air conditioner has been out the last two days. Next worse thing, it has no GPS guidance system. Jason and I had a laugh today when he took me after my pickup. I told him I had hit every button in that tractor and I couldn't get the guidance to activate.

In two weeks I have crossed this particular farm four times. Once plowing it to clean it up for herbicide. Two, incorporating the herbicide. Three, to plant it. And four, running the sand fighter.

Lots of people will call me crazy with my next revelation, but there is a "coyote couple" that live in some tunnels and caves on this farm. They have lived there for years. The male is as gray as I am and the female appears to have just weaned pups. She is very lank. Over the past twenty years, I have seen many litters. Crazy thing is they know the drill and while they can't stay "under" while I plow around their house, they will come out and just watch me, only feet away. I would estimate they have to travel at least one and a half miles just to get water.

Anyhow, I have and do enjoy watching them. It sometimes amazes me how much "wildlife" is in a field.

We are hopeful we can plant tomorrow. At some point we are probably going to run rotary hoes, to help the 500 plus acres of cotton that has been planted break through the crust.

Combines have been on the move. Wheat harvest is moving at warp speed, yet you don't see any noticeable reduction in uncut fields.

I guess I will put the curse on the Boston Celtics, but I am pulling for them to beat the Lakers in game 7 of the NBA finals tonight. As much as I would love to see it, I am going to get a bath and go to bed.

Have a day! I've already had one!

FATHER, thank YOU for seeing this day to its end.

It seemed like I hit the ground running on my day off. The first day off in almost two weeks.



I could have used more than a single day off. I did office work, went to Roscoe, to Colorado City to Wastella to Roscoe to Merkel to Hawley to Abilene.



My day ended where it began. In the home office. Near midnight I completed some bid proposals and sent them to my partner for proofing. This morning we made some grammatical and spelling changes and this afternoon Trc handed it off to Fed Ex. We are hopeful these bids are successful.



Today I was running a little late getting to Roscoe. My main project for the day was getting a sand fighter from behind the barn to the farm across U.S. Hwy 84 to the farm we have called Wastella. Problem was, almost any route was blocked with wheat in the fields, still waiting to be harvested.



Pepa wanted me to take it apart, load it on a truck haul it to the field it was needed in and then reassemble it. So that would require, one truck and trailer, one forklift, and my pickup and service trailer. Not a problem if i were working with a team, but I was working alone.



I hooked a tractor to the sand fighter and drove across the fields, across the highway and to the farm destination. Once I arrived there I streaked the farm to hopefully keep the sand from blowing. It was really too wet in the terrace channels, but an ounce of prevention ... . . . . . . . . ... When it is more dry I will fill in the skips.



So tomorrow I will set my alarm again for farm time. Dang it. If things go according to plan Jason will spray the Gray place tonight and we will resume planting tomorrow.



Krl had hired a new truck driver last week. Both she and Trc were very impressed. Processed the man, drug screened him, got him accepted by insurance and when they called him to work he was no where to be found. Five days later, he calls from Mexico. Family emergency. Two weeks more.



If you haven't heard it you need to do a search for "I pray for You" by Jarud on the road to love. I think it is a spoof, but you will laugh until you cry.



Also, while I am critiquing songs, my favorite right now is "Lover, Lover". Really neat rhythm and very good harmonies.



Rian and his family are at camp in Sacramento, New Mexico.

I need some time off! This weekend is the Stevens Freeman Reunion and there is a one day pull at Gustine. So that means I will at least be driving to and from Roscoe/Sweetwater on the weekend. I haven't been asked, but I usually run off the auction at the reunion. I am hoping we get through planting Thursday, and if Jason's boys get started on the rotary hoes, we could be in good shape by the weekend. I need to go back to the NAPA store to rest up!

Well, I need a shower and a bed. See ya next time.

Have a day!

FATHER, Bless us and expand our boundaries. To YOU be the glory!

Today was day eleven helping Pepa on the farm. This city slicker is tired!

Today was one of those days that just comes along. Lots of weird stuff that cost some time and productivity. Those things just happen. At days end I had an issue with the planter, the seed monitor was telling me that seed population was just about half the target number. I couldn't test and watch, but I would think there is a sheared pin or drive hub. When I left Roscoe the straight line winds were horrible, lots of thunder and lightning. Reports I am seeing indicate it did rain in the area.

Thank YOU LORD!

I am hopeful there was not to much "bad" weather mixed in with the good.

Crazy thing. Members of my family have worked this farm for about forty years. I don't think we have ever planted this farm that it didn't rain, during or immediately after. I lacked just over a hundred acres finishing Pepa and then 200 acres to finish Bubba.

Tomorrow is Terri's birthday. She would be 46. Happy Birthday TJ.

Wednesday is Alton Ray's birthday. He is old enough to know better. Happy birthday Alton!

FATHER, thank YOU for YOUR blessing of rain. I pray that the efforts of our friends and family will be rewarded. YOU are good!

Dear Fred,


Three years into eternity.


Where to begin. Lots to catch upon although I feel confident you have a ringside seat for most.


First of all, you are a grandad again. A grandson and a granddaughter. Jake is head over heels. They are blue eyed and appear headed to be redheads!


Dakota is getting to be a big girl, Pat and I are constantly amazed with how much we see you in her.


Devon and Dillon are growing up, busy with school, their collegiate courses from Roscoe Collegiate High School (yep, you read right) and their athletic endeavors. They still find time to help Bub with some of his projects.


Jeri K. seems to be doing well, although I am beginning to have doubts about that foreigner she is involved with. It was bad enough he nixed the margarita machine, but choosing cheddar brats over steak is almost unforgivable. This is Texas you know.


Joni continues to work at the same job, although she does test the waters every once in a while and checks out jobs in the metroplex.


Linda has taken a job as nutritionist at a nursing home in Sweetwater, so she spends several nights a week at Roscoe with family. The nursing home is scheduled to move into a new facility in the Fall.


Mom and Dad are still going, although the aging process is rapidly catching them. Pepa goes everywhere with a walker now and even that is not fool proof. He has had several falls, has lost most of his strength, most of his wind and almost all of his "want to". Their health issues now make impossible for them to cover up for each other any longer, especially when so much family is nearby. We worry about them. At times, Pepa takes a vacation (as Jason puts it) and never leaves the house.


I know you and TJ have to be laughing your butts off, thinking ya'll cut a rusty by checking out early! Ya'll just realize that one of these days GOD is going to be asking ya'll, "Can't ya'll control your Dad?" It would be ashamed for all of you to get kicked out for Dad's insubordination!


Jason and Rian have been working together on pulling projects. Rian is driving the pro mod and Devon is driving the econo rod. So far, if it weren't for bad luck they'd have no luck at all. Once in a while you'll get a glimpse of what they can do when everything works right.


Lately I have been trying to help Jason and Hag with Pepa's farming. Hopefully I can give them a little relief. Today I had my first experience with a tractor with GPS guidance. It is so neat! But boring. I think I will take a book tomorrow.


As you know, Bub's efforts to buy your home place were unsuccessful. There was a pretty good show of support, but T.P. (and I don't mean Toilet Paper) ran it up past the "little bastard banker's" parameters he had put on Wade. The good doctor had come in hoping to buy the place and provide some short term financing. it was a dry run.


Let's see, after negotiating a new contract with St. Lawrence last year, when the contract arrived it did not appear to be what we had negotiated. I took it do Lance and he told me my instincts were right on, that he would not allow me to sign the contract. After about a month's negotiation, it became evident they had no desire to change the contract and we returned it unsigned. I told Krl that if the GM changed it to what we had negotiated he might be all right, if he refused I we didn't need to be doing business with him.


It is no shock a year later, we have not starved. GOD is still faithful to meet our needs.


Coach is at Breckenridge now. They dropped to 2-A classification this year. Colby's family is expecting a baby this summer I believe. Kirby is selling prosthetics in Louisiana and around Houston. I think he is living in Louisinana. Kelsi continues to do her thing.


Pat and Hag and their family are doing pretty well. Their biggest news is that Chris ran into a train with his mule. He was very lucky to emerge with no serious injury. Steph, JR, and Chloe moved back to Huntsville. She is a school counselor and he is working at Sam Houston State. Kyle is going to welding school at WTC. He already has one year behind him.


Jeanetta and Douglas seem to be good, although they have had several deaths in the past year, primarily on Dougs side of the family.

Over the course of a few days I saw all of TJ's bunch except Shelb. They continue to do well. Biggest news is that Wee has quit the City of Edna and is working for Haliburton. E, Steph, riley, Wee and Kala came to Norheim to the tractor pull down there. They sure seemed to enjoy it. It was good to see them.


My family's big news was not good. Krl fell and broke a hip, requiring surgery. In her convalescing they discovered she has a pulse issue. Too few per minute. Trc and Brently split up after 21 years. Lrn had a bad car wreck that may take years to get back up to normal. Ln will be a senior, Kat will be going to middle school. Rian took a job at Shallowater High School. His three mutts are growing! Krl talks with Addie once in a while. The idget and I have not talked in three years. Ollie is back in her old stomping ground tying to get some of her Mother's and Doug's rental property on the market.

Life goes on for those of us remaining and believe it or not, you remain a big part. Lots of time we laugh, sometimes there are tears. Know that you are loved, and that you are missed terribly. If at all possible, give me a little direction when I am straying, even winning lotto numbers would be welcome!

Love,

Don

I need to back up some.

The displeasure I had with my uncle had nothing to do with his choice, but everything to do with his timing. I will not deny that he has every right to choose what and what not to do. My problem was with waiting 'til the weekend when no other options were available.

It has been a day. A day of realization, a day of stress, and hopefully a day of deliverance.

No, the efforts to buy Fred's home place were not successful. There was one other bidder, and he paid a premium. Second time he has done this in a year.

I would like to inform everyone that the uncle did come in and he did attend the foreclosure auction. For his efforts we are appreciative. The parameters put on him by the "little bastard banker" did not allow the latitude needed to secure the purchase.

Fourteen of us had lunch at Memama's. It would have been much better if it had been a victory dinner.

The realizations are numerous. #1. They can't take our memories. #2. We have had the privilege and honor to have a tie to that piece of land. Something many of the younger cousins don't have and never will. It is their loss. #3. I believe I learned that I have more of a tie than my grandfather's son. To the land, and to the heritage. #4. By knowing my grandparents, and holding their memories, I hold something much more precious than anything these cousins will ever know. #5. Knowing that with this door closing, it simply indicates that GOD has something else in mind, and his plan is unfolding in his time and in his way. #6. GOD is in control.

Last week, I sent Jason a message. One that will remain private. But I will admit it is much harder to live it than to type it.

And finally, we are hopeful that the price has been paid and deliverance is at hand. It has been a long nine years. On numerous occasions we have thought "this has to be it" but each time we learn there is something else.

Hopefully, this is the end of a long painful ordeal.

FATHER, forgive me for speaking in anger. Thank YOU for the efforts of those who tried. We pray for strength. We pray for deliverance. LORD lead us on.